Monday, November 16, 2009

From the vaults

Found this old entry from my LJ.  And its a quote I enjoyed reading again. So I am re-posting it here! 

April 18th, 2007
I just came across this quote that I have never heard before.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"
- Marianne Williamson

It plays right into the whole 'staying overweight because it's comfortable' theory. Which, I opposed for a long time. Until I really thought about it. There is something very hurtful, damaging, and inhuman about being overweight. But, there is also something very safe and harboring about it as well. While comments about my weight or looks are always very hurtful, there is still a shield there. There is still an allowance to say "Well, that's just shallow.They had to make fun of my weight because otherwise, they'd have nothing bad to say!" Well.. what if I weren't overweight? What would they say about me then? Probably something pretty cruel, because it would be about the core of me.

Aside from that. Just the sheer nature of change. Change is scary. Especially to me. I've always been very averse to it. And this is not only change, but this is change-to-something-unknown! That's scary shit.

I used to be in some PostSecret community. People would mail you random tidbits of things. I once got a gorgeous postcard with a sunset on it. Scrawled across the back in confident black sharpie, it said "a ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what it was built for"
Cliché, I know. But it meant something. It still does. Because it's damn true.

I may be safe in this harbor of a body, but I wasn't built for this. I was built to change. I was built to be healthy. To be happy. To be ME, without safety nets, and without excuses.

3 refreshing comments:

Salina Lyn said...

Hallelujah sista!!! :)

I realized not too long ago that I might be hiding from relationships with my extra layer of me. I put the fat suit on when having trouble with my man many years ago and never took it off. I think I just didn't give myself credit for being strong enough to deal with whatever. Now I know I'm strong enough. Fat suit is coming off for good. :)

Thanks for that post. It made me smile on a very grumpy day.

MackAttack said...

This is so true! I'm so with you, how do we break out of it?! HOW!?

~Oct said...