Thursday, July 17, 2008

The future

When I envision my future, I have two versions of the same scenario in my head. But they are vastly different.. based on one thing — my weight.

Joel's and my plan for the future basically involves saving as much money as possible, while still indulging ourselves in things we want. We will not be having children, so it opens up this very self-indulgent way of life. Knowing we have no one to support after our deaths is very freeing.

In our "ultimate" future, we have a lovely house (possibly still the same one we have now, but fixed up real nice), we have a beach house somewhere in NH, or Maine that we stay in in the warm seasons. We have nice, reliable cars. (Mine is a convertible, of course!). We can go on a few vacations a year.

But here is the kicker. . . when I envision this future for us, I first imagine my future self as I am now. And immediately, I am unhappy. I would have dream homes, cars, spending money, travel.. but if I am still this heavy.. I will never enjoy it. I will always be plagued with anxiety, discomfort, awful self esteem, and poor health.

When I imagine this same future with my dream body.. it's HEAVEN. It's me, jogging on the beach with my pups, sitting comfortably in a plane to Italy, cruising down the street in my convertible - turning heads! Its SUCH an entirely different scenario.

It's all within my control. As long as I just keep at it, keep working toward my goals - I will arrive at that dream future... it may even come sooner than I think.

All of that being said. I have to mention that.. I already live an amazing life. I already have SO many things that I never, ever thought I would have. Without Joel I would be without the lifestyle I have. Without my beautiful house, my gorgeous pups, my good car, I would be without the love I receive every day from him. He has done so much for me.. the least I can do is make our future together, as HEALTHY, and happy as it possibly can be.

3 refreshing comments:

Fatty McFat-Fat said...

Hells yeah! I bet even your corgi would slim down if it meant jogging down the beach with you. :) I'm sure you'll get there. You've got the determination, and support. At the very least from Me, Joel, the rest of the family, Melissa,and I'm pretty sure anybody that stops by to read your words here. You'll probably be running down a beach in Italy or something and I'll be on a stage kicking out the jams. Don't worry, I'll take my personal jet out to meet you for a drink after my show. :)

Chai Latté said...

Hahah perfect! We can meet up in Dubai for a drink (low carb!) and a corgi swim in the ocean!

Melissa said...

Yeah, you'll get there. You've got the determination, so just keep on truckin'