Monday, June 1, 2009


Woke up this morning, opened the door from my bedroom and was greeted with a foul sight/stench.
The study was littered with puddles of green poo.
My doggies sleep in crates. Latched.Closed.Crates. Who did this!?

I leap over the puddles, making it safely in the hallway...or so I thought. The hallway, also COVERED in poo. I peek in Joel's office, POO. The bathroom? POO! The stairs? A trail of POO. It was honestly frightening. It was so much poop, in such an unnatural color, and no dog yet to speak of, I sincerely was starting to fear for my pups life.

I immediately woke up Joel, and told him that if he got up now (6am) and helped me clean, we might both make it to work on time. He agreed and got up to help. This was before I ever went downstairs.

I made it to the bottom of the stairs, and my mouth dropped. I have witnessed a lot of nasty ass poopscapades in my dog owning life. But this takes the cake. Stunned. I just laughed, and said Oh.My.God. repeatedly.

Zevon, my sweet boy, ass covered in shit, comes wagging over from where he was laying.. on the COUCH (of course).

I am not exaggerating when I tell you the house was covered. Frosted like a freakin CAKE. In crap. Grassy, green CRAP.

A pile, about 2.5feet around and a good 2 inches high in the middle of the living room. The epicenter I like to call it.
And from that, spread to 11 rooms of my house. Pure poop. And some nice little sprinklings of pee.

But how is this possible? He was locked in his crate!

Then, I found the crate. My sweet little 30lb boy chewed through the hard hard plastic bottom of his crate and BENT THE METAL BARS WITH HIS JAWS to get himself the hell out of the crate.
The scene was grizzly, I tell you! Blood on the floor from him gums (I assume), the crate, utterly destroyed. The crate, blanket, entire room smeared in poop. He must have been frantic to get out. I feel so bad for the guy :-(

I took a picture of his crate, because I just couldn't believe it!

I tried to bend the bars with my own hands, and I couldn't do it! I know he's strong. But, I have no idea how he did that!
(and yes, that's poop you see!)

Here's a pick of the study, the "cleanest" room in the house.

So anyway. I apologize for this turdy tale. I just HAD to share :-)

The bright side is. My floors have never been cleaner now. And Zevon is doing fine. They did xrays and all sorts of things, but they think he just ate something very bad, and it has finally passed.

Hope you are reading this after you've eaten. If not, sorry for your ruined appetite!

7 refreshing comments:

Salubrious Fervor said...

That is amazing. I am so glad to know I am not the only one who had to deal with poop on this kind of scale.
Hope that little guy feels well soon.

anne h said...

It's like a scene from the doggie terminator! Tell him we all say "get well soon!"

Kate said...

Oh man, I hate to laugh at a sick dog, but that made me laugh. I've got two dogs and one of mine did the SAME THING once. I swear, I woke up to the FOULEST smell of my life, only to find poop EVERYWHERE! Her poop looked exactly like mud, though. She had even managed to spray it all over the walls! Poor girl (and poor me for having to spend literally hours cleaning poo off of every surface in my house).

Anyway, I'm glad your dog seems to be feeling better!

Melissa Vegas said...

oh MAN!

Is it wrong that i'd like to see the 2 foot pile of poop? It must have been somewhat impressive!

Dina said...

OMG, that is GREEEENNN!!

And look at that sweet corg sitting there like "hmm, I didn't do that!"


Sweet Copper Penny said...

I needed that giggle. LOL ON a good note, though, seriously, it's a good sign that your dog would not poop in his crate! I'm just sorry you had such a mess to deal with!

laura said...

omg. that's crazy and the picture evidence made me laugh, i'm glad he's okay!