Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ramblings of a Motivated Chunker

I have to say... I've been feeling really good lately! I'm in a really good groove with my running, and my diet. Having the scale moving in the right direction certainly helps my mood and motivation too, I can't lie! I finally have people telling me they can notice a change, and my pants agree.  

This morning, as I was getting ready, I slid on my new size 16 pants and I said to myself - "I can't believe I'm really doing it"  

I cannot keep count of how many times I have said "This time is IT!"
Every time I started a new diet or program. Everytime I got fed up with being so fat. I swore that THAT time was different, but it obviously wasn't.  It never lasted.  Because I only said it, I never felt it, I never truly believed it. 

But now? Now I am living it. 

I am not cured of my obesity and whatever reasons for it. I never will be.  But I am already a different person than I was just a year ago.  With every pound, every inch, every mile that I can run.... I become a better version of me.  I am gaining confidence, endurance, strength, and admiration from people I love.  And that sounds exactly like the kind of person I want to be. 

I know that the next 50+ pounds won't be easy to lose. I mean, geez! look how long it took me to lose this 50.  But if there is anything I know for certain, I WILL be doing it. This time isn't "it"  because this isn't just a "time" this isn't just a short term sprint to being thin & happy and then never having to work hard again. This is an never-ending journey that I used to view more as a battle. It doesn't have to be a battle. I don't need to fight with myself for what I want.  My body and I are the same creature. We will work together, moving forward together, without judgment or hatred.
I've spent 28 years hating the shell I am in, yet now... when I push it to its limits, its gives me everything I need with only minimal complaining :-) It can handle what I am dishing out. It certainly makes me wish I'd given it more credit sooner. 

And now, I will leave you with a cute picture I took of Sammy & Ginger.  Unrelated to the post, and I don't care. ;-) 




3 refreshing comments:

Melissa said...

You ARE doing it. You're amazing! You're looking fantastic (as I told you over and over on Friday). I am SO proud of you, your motivation, your dedication, and how hard you're working.

Chai Latté said...

Thank you! I wish I could thank you enough! Your comments mean a lot to me!

~Oct said...

Seeing you achieve successes is great motivation for me too. Congrats! I'm cheering for you all the way.