It's time for my quarterly trip in the waaaahhhmbulance.
I'm frustrated! And then, I'm more frustrated at myself for being frustrated.
When I want better, faster results - I push myself harder. I work out extra, I eat meticulously, I count every ounce of water, and without fail - it backfires. I have been pushing myself beyond the norm for the past two weeks to try and get to 50lbs lost. I got nothing. And then some more nothing. And then a two pound gain.
I can't be bothered to be this aggravated. It doesn't benefit me in any way. It doesn't shame me into working harder, because I'm nearly maxed out. And frankly, I just have too far to go.
Good things are happening. I ran 2 miles! I went shopping and bought size 16 pants! (even though I've lost no inches... go figure!) I'm getting compliments from people who notice my loss (even though I haven't lost!) Why I can't I revel in these small victories? Why do I have to just dismiss it all and be pissed off about a 2lb gain.
I dunno. I hate being negative. It's not in my nature. But I would be lying if I said wasn't so damn aggravated.
I was always so sure that the hard part of losing weight was the mental battle. Battling an addiction to food, social situations, and learned behavior. And that once I conquered those things, that it would be as easy as - eating healthy and exercising.
I want to slap the peeps who just say "eat less, move more"
Yes, it's true, and it's exactly what I say to other people *slaps self* BUT it obviously doesn't work that way for me. There is something missing.
Well, thanks for reading if you did. I hope you didn't.
Bitching and whining is not what I want this blog to represent. But I also feel like a fraud if I don't share what I'm feeling.
5 refreshing comments:
I'm sorry to hear your frustrated. I've been there so I know...
I'll also spare you the other motivational words...sometimes we just need to wallow in it.
Hang in there.
Thanks Rebecca! I'll get over it, as I always do!
2 miles?! That's AWESOME. You GO girl!!!!
Hey there!
Not only do we have the same taste, we share the same battled. I got stuck just trying to get going- again- not too long ago and instead of the eat less, move more (pisses me right off too), I went with the eat different, move different thing. Took classes and did things that were WAY outside my comfort level, and slowly, gradually the changes are coming. I feel your struggle and have been in your place a hundred times before too... keep at it, you are improving your health and well being even if the scale is being a stingy SOB and not showing you the love :)
-Laura
Thank you SO much Laura :-)
lets be friends!
Thanks Melissa :)I am glad that you can see how far I've come!
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