We Kin Get Thin!

Being the first of a new month, I thought I should take a minute to reflect on my recent progress.
I seem to have finally beaten the sturdy plateau I'd been sitting on for so long! I'm still a little fuzzy on HOW. But I guess I don't care too much, as long as it continues! :-) 
It must be a combination of the little changes I've made.. 
being :

• More walking and jogging.  I now try to do 3.1 miles every day I do cardio (which is Sun, Mon, Fri), instead of just a mile or two. 
• Cut out artificial sweetener.  More accurately, I cut out about 95% of artificial sweeteners.  If I am low on calories and have an iced coffee, I'll still use splenda as opposed to sugar. But on a typical day, I use sugar, agave, honey, or nothing.  I have only had ONE diet soda in the past month.

• Positive attitude.  This is still a work in progress. But I'm trying :-)


February 1 
Weight : 230.2
BMI : 34.9



March 1 
Weight : 222.4
BMI : 33.7

-7.8lbs this month! 
(Total loss to date : 45.1 lbs)

Go me!




Looking forward...

I have some big goals this month.

1. I'd like to lose 5lbs, and hit 217.5, which would mark a 50lb loss.
2. I'd like to be able to run 2 miles straight. (currently, I can only do just over 1)
3. Find something nice about myself.  This is a homework assignment given to me by Debbie. She finds it unacceptable that I really can't name ONE thing I like, physically about myself. So she's working on me to recognize those things.

So tell me, peeps.
Do you have any monthly goals that start today?

So, this new fancy scale has really given me a different perspective. And it's time I reevaluate and change my ultimate goals to reflect that.

First let me say... I currently weigh about 235lbs. My goal weight has always been 145lbs, based on the "ideal weight chart" system we've all used.  They say my weight should be 135-155 so I aimed for the healthy middle.

According to Wiley the Scale,  I have 145lbs of lean mass. Lean mass includes bones, muscles, organs (and the water stored in those goodies). Therefore, if I only weighed 145lbs, I'd have ZERO fat. And that is not possible (nor healthy). I'd like to have a very lean, and healthy 18-20% BMI.

Do you know what that means?  My ultimate goal weight should be 175lbs. 

That is a 30lb difference from my original goal that I've always had.
That's nuts. NUTS I TELL YOU!

It honestly feels like I just lost 30lbs in this moment.
 
Now, I am aware that I could get to 175lbs and realize I need to lose more. And I am OK with that. As we know, the science of all of this isn't exactly true-to-life.  But, it's a good start.

So.... I am hereby changing my goal weight to 175lbs.
This means, instead of having nearly 100lbs left to lose. I now have less than 60lbs.
And so,  I give to you...

MY NEW, IMPROVED TICKER.


Crazy, right? Yeah, it is.  But I am very happy with this decision!
It feels like the right thing to do (logically, and emotionally!)

Wow. It's nearly the New Year, can you believe it?
I certainly can't.

I have a horrible memory for dates, and remembering years that things happened in. I was born in 1981, I graduated high school in the year 2000.  Aside from that, it's all a blur of numbers.  But 2009 I might remember.
2009 was a year of change for me. A real 'light bulb' year.  The first year I truly put the pedal-to-the-metal with my health and weight loss.  I've always tried and failed, tried and failed. But this year I just kept trying.  I may not be 'succeeding' quite yet, but I sure as hell am NOT failing.

In 2009. . .
I went from jogging 8 seconds at a time to 15 minutes.
I built up the nerve to join a personal training gym.
I went to said personal training 3 times a week, for 9 months! (so far!)
I improved my cardiac health SUBSTANTIALLY.
I inspired some people! 

2009 was a good year, and I anticipate  2010 to be even better.

In 2010 . . . 
I will be running a 5k, with my brother, in TMNT sweatshirts.
I will build even more muscle, and maybe even do some REAL pull ups!
I will inspire even more people! 

I can't make resolutions about weight loss. It seems I have very little control over the number on the scale. And in 2010, I will try to be more OK with that. I will try to work on my relationship with the scale and the weight at which it reads. The number isn't important and I need to convince myself of that.  I weigh about 10lbs MORE right now than I did last year on this date. But that does not take away from the amazing progress I made this year.  I won't let it. I've worked too damn hard.


I'd also like to take a minute to thank the people who helped make 2009 such a good year for me.

Fatty, of course. His self-proclaimed failings aside, he's been right there with me the whole time. Keeping this blog, working out, dieting, motivating, and supporting. He is such a huge part of my commitment and any successes I have.

Bob, Heather, Cindy, and Kate at One2One Bodyscapes
I know that I pay them to train me. But I don't pay them to be amazing, motivating, kind, compassionate, fun people—and yet they still are. They have made me feel comfortable and inspired and that is what I need to succeed.  They've pushed me, and even made me OK with my excessive sweating. ;-) 

Constantly supportive. loving, and plain ol' awesome. I owe a LOT to my family!

These guys are always telling me how proud they are of me for the things I do and have done.  They motivate me with their own accomplishments, and support me through anything I try. I am SO incredibly lucky to have these people in my life.

This is an ever growing list. And I have room in my heart for many more! :-) What an incredibly community of people. People who work as hard as I do. Who deserve every ounce they lose and every feat they achieve.  Awesome people, every one!


So here's to another year! 
Another year of putting my health to the forefront of my life and going for those goals that I have never lost sight of.

Who's with me!? :-)

242.5 this morning, which means I successfully made it through my Bday weekend without a gain! *applause*

So, I'm back to the super strictness, and back to training tonight!

I know I'm not really changing anything to really affect the outcome.. but I am making a goal of being in the 230's by the end of my 12 week challenge. 3lbs in 4 weeks, that's it!

My niners, as requested by Chai "The fat Killer"

9 Things you are proud of achieving.
9 Things you plan on achieving in the future.
9 Things you are grateful for.

Here's mine :
Things I'm proud of achieving
1.) The amount of knowledge I've acquired about exercises and foods. (still have a TON to learn though)
2.) being able to jog on the treadmill at 5.5-6mph for miles at a time without dieing.
3.) managing a few pullups
4.) needing a belt for my pants
5.) Many of the fitness goals I'd set for myself.
6.) a renewed vigor every time I let myself fall off the wagon, instead of just letting it get even farther away.
7.) Being able to actually see some form of muscle definition
8.) knowing that I can do stuff when I try, and I can push through "the wall" and keep going.
9.) a constant presence on this here blog. I may not always have much to say and post, but I'm always here and reading. :)

Things I plan on achieving in the future.
1.) becoming a push up master! My chest is so weak it's embarrassing.
2.) Getting into the Muay Thai gym and sticking with it!
3.) Getting back under 200 pounds, and get some strength back.
4.) Catching up to Chai with squats and showing her I can do it too!
5.) finding a balance between dieting hardcore, 100% and obsessing over it, and not dieting at all, so I can maintain a happy medium and keep the weight off once I get back down.
6.) build up my home gym collection and continue to use it.
7.) getting a good sense of portions, and eating only the proper amount. Especially when eating out.
8.) add back some muscle mass, so I can show you all which way it is to the beach.
9.) rule the world!!!!! Or at least learn to accept a compliment/good job from people without automatically assuming they're just trying to be polite. also, try not to yell at people when they say I'm skinny(even though I'm not).

Things I'm grateful for
1.) CHAI! if it wasn't for her, I'd probably be up to 300+lbs again.
2.) my health, I may be out of shape, but I still have all my limbs, and they all work.
3.) microwaves, which makes making meals so much easier.
4.) Beef. for tasting so good and not being as bad for me as pizza.
5.) pre-packaged meals. ie. slim fast, power bars, etc)
6.) self control when people are watching(and better than it ever was when they're not)
7.) support from complete strangers/bloggers, who have similar goals.
8.) for having friends and family who are on diets too. It makes it so much easier to do stuff when you're not the only one.
9.) my laziness, to some extent. I could have a box of cake mix in my house(and I do) but I'm way too lazy to make it. So the box just sits there. Instead, I'll grab something pre-made or I jsut won't eat. Usually I'm not even hungry when I'm looking around for food anyway.

Man, that literally took me almost ALL day to come up with. I'm also thankful for caffeine, otherwise I'd never be awake long enough to exercise. lol even though it's not the best thing to have before you work out... :) As usual, thanks for reading, and definitely let us know what your 9-9-9 are:)

In honor of this day, which means absolutely nothing...
Lets do a 9-9-9. I'll do it, and you gotta do it too. Either in your own blog, or here in the comments...

9 Things you are proud of achieving.
9 Things you plan on achieving in the future.
9 Things you are grateful for.

Here's mine :

Things I am proud of achieving
1. I have jogged a mile non-stop.
2. I have faltered, but I have never given up.
3. I joined the personal training gym, despite my anxiety towards it.
4. I have graduated from girly-pushups to *real* pushups.
5. I have maintained this blog and made new friends through it.
6. I have motivated, helped, and inspired my own brother!
7. I have nearly stopped assuming "I can't", and now, I just TRY.
8. I have overcome my fear of talking about my weight, and admitting my problems.
9. I have made, and MET several fitness goals. With SO many more to come!

Things I plan on achieving in the future
1. I will get to a healthy weight/muscle mass.
2. I will RUN a 5k, just to say I did :-)
3. I will continue to share my healthy recipes and lifestyle with others.
4. I will learn to do a cartwheel!
5. I will beat the snot out of Fatty if he gets fat.
6. I will improve my self confidence.
7. I will do 30 pushups in a row.
8. I will be able to do pull ups, without assistance!
9. I will allow myself to be PROUD of myself.

Things I am grateful for
1. I am able to afford the training, and foods I need to succeed.
2. I have an amazing, incredible, super helpful, super awesome trainer. (Thanks Bob!)
3. I have supportive, empathetic friends who help me every step of the way.
4. Fatty.
5. My mom, who inspires and motivates me!
6. My blog followers, who comment, and keep me accountable and present!
7. My health and body. Defective as it is... it WORKS.
8. My tastebuds, who I thank for enjoying all kinds of healthy foods.
9. The internet. For being a bountiful resource for information, support, and connections.

Goals without deadlines!

Since stating my 10lb loss goal, I've felt a need to write out some other goals. I've never made open-ended goals. So, I love the idea. Here are some of my ultimate weight/health goals. May they happen this month, or 3 years from now. They will all happen, and they will mean that I've really achieved something.

1. Reach a healthy weight at which I feel comfortable and attractive at.
2. Be able to complete, in a row - at least 25 'real' push ups.
3. Do a cartwheel.
4. Be able to jog/run more than 2 miles at a time.
5. Shop for clothes in a 'normal' store, or in the misses section of a store.
6. Be able to do at least ONE proper pull up. I have never once in my life done one.

Boy, is it nice to have more entries from Fatty! Isn't it? :-)

Hearing him say that he'd like to step it up a bit, and recommit definitely makes me more motivated to do the same. It is amazing how easily we are influenced by the state of people around you. It only takes one person to be all gung-ho, and I'm in too!

Melissa is back on track, Jenn had been successfully weaned off the blueberry muffins, Fatty is all about dropping those last 15lbs. And I am SO determined to get to the 220's! My first major goal is hitting the half-way point of 56lbs lost, which will be 211.5.

So, to help me put that in perspective, here is my ticker for my first goal -



Half way to half way! :-)

My diet has been different lately. Not bad, by any means. But different. I've been eating more carbs, sometimes up to 45-50g. Which of course, is really high for me, but still considered low-carb. It's because of fruit, mainly. I LOVE fruit. And I always allow myself a serving of fruit a week, or so. This week, I ate a serving at least every other day. I've had more of the low-carb breads and tortillas, and even some low-carb prepackaged cupcakes! it seems like a more normal, every day diet.
Which I enjoy. But I wonder if I'm getting dangerously close to slipping.
I suppose only time will tell. But I am going to keep on like I am.
4 of the 6lbs are still gone. Which puts me back at 237.5. So I am very close to virgin fat! :-)

I slacked on exercise over the weekend, since Joel's Grandma was staying with us. But, I am (and will be) back at it this week.

I get a little anxious every time I look at my calendar for this and next month, it's covered in things to do, all weekends are spoken for. It is definitely not how I prefer it, but some months are just like this.

I just need to keep on, keepin' on.

I am trying very hard to come into acceptance that I will not be at my goal weight by Melissa's wedding. This was my original goal, which seemed very attainable at the time when I made it. Considering how slowly I am losing, it's nearly impossible now. And if there is nothing I can do about it... that's just it. My new goal is to be under 200lbs by the wedding. That will be about 40lbs in 6 months. That is also extremely ambitious. But, I'd be really happy to get there.

Well, that's enough rambling for now.

So, it's a new month already. How did that happen?

I'm getting more and more nervous about meeting any of my goals. At the rate I am losing, I won't meet them, or even come close.

I *need* to figure out how to speed it up. I know that you can only force it so much, but I really don't think I am anywhere near that threshold yet.

I've been exercising, but I haven't been "pushing myself". I don't think I've ever had to REALLY push myself and fight through. I work out hard enough. Hard enough to make me feel like I've exercised, but nothing like they do on the Biggest Loser! Where they scream, cry, puke! I want to do that. But how do you get the motivation to do that, when you're working out alone, at home? Its SO easy to slack off.

I desperately need to step up my game. Ugh, but how?


Now that I know how unattainable my previous goals are, I am going to change them now.
Oh, they will still be challenging, but at least they will be physically possible.
My previous goals - Under 200lbs by November 15, Goal weight of 155 by April.

My new goals - 220lbs by November 15, 185lbs by April 23, Goal weight of 155 by Oct 24, 2009.

They are still aggressive. Losing 19lbs in 7 weeks will not be easy, but I need to do it! I'm already so far behind where I wanted to be.

Welcome to October, people! The month of kickin' ass, and taking names! :)

Back under 200lbs! Yesterday after work was a book camp night, exercise and food-wise. We got to Chai's place and I hopped on the treadmill. instead of my normal just get on and go, I changed it up with some interval type stuff. I jogged at a steady 5mph for a bit to get warmed up, upped it to 6mph for one minute, then 7mph for one minute and lastly 8mph for one minute and then slowed it back down. I did that cycle about 3 times. I ended up jogging 2.5 miles in about 30minutes. I had slowed down to 4.0mph for walking to bring my heart rate down before cycling back up to the higher speeds. After the treadmill Chai and I did one of her workout dvd's and that thing kicked my ass! especially after the treadmill, those squats and stuff beat the hell out of my legs. They're pretty sore today. All in all though, great workout, and it was much needed. I've got to get doing this stuff more often.

I hereby vow to . . .

• Eat less than 20g of carbs per day

• Drink a minimum of 100oz of water per day (this will include crystal lite, and seltzer water. Will not include diet soda, iced coffee, etc.

• Use the Wii Fit for a minimum of 30 minutes a day.

• Round carbs up, to allow for hidden carbs


Those, are my rules. I pray that this combo, plus regular exercises can make me actually lose some weight. I'm trying to be forgiving for this weeks gain/stall, but it really bugs me. My first goal was 20lbs down by this Saturday. And I am nowhere near that. My current goal is now 20lbs for this whole month.