We Kin Get Thin!

That's about allll I've been doing lately. My motivation comes in bursts, and leaves just as quick. It's really hard to stay on the wagon. I'm getting mad at myself for being so lazy, yet I don't do anything about it, which makes me even madder at myself. I do really well when everyone around me is doing well. When Chai and I started this whole diet business(hah! like we make money doing this) We were both so gung-ho, and two peas in the proverbial diet pod. We helped each other with meals(mostly Chai) and with exercise(I played the role of trainer), it worked out great. We both lost, we both felt better, and my pants started falling off, in a good way.

Now, my food habits have been anything but good, my exercise has been next to nil, and the support between Chai and I has been lacking too. There just isn't enough time, scheduling conflicts, and having our own lives gets in the way. I'm not trying to point blame, or even shift it away from myself. I'm the one who keeps failing. It really hurts to have to come on here and cry about gaining weight back, or complain about being lazy. It really sucks, I'm not big on letting people down, but I have no problem letting myself down. I'm real good at that. It's almost like I set out to let myself down, so if I actually do succeed at something, it's a huge surprise, and I can genuinely get excited about it.

Everyday while at work, I think.... I could be at home, jumping rope, or bribing someone to hold the thai pads for me, doing push-ups... something.. anything. Then I get home, and all I want to do is lay on my couch, relax, play some Xbox, and zone out from this planet for a while. Just truly zone out, not talk to anyone, not go boxing, or running, or jumping rope, just relax, and forget about everything. Forget bills, and grocery shopping, forget being fat and broke. :/

Well, I'm done complaining for now. I'll be trying to turn this funk into funky fresh, and hopefully have a kick ass update for you all soon.

On a really happy note, I still love my new apartment, and barely miss Haverhill at all. :) So, not all is bad in Fatty land. It's just getting fatter and lazier.