We Kin Get Thin!

Ok. I'm done being sloppy.  *sigh* 

I think that going to the doctor, having all these tests done has made me start to really think  
What if something really is causing this?
What if I can't really help what's happening with my body?
Why do I even try? 

So I think the prospect of there being something working against me is making me work against myself. Making me feel like, whats the point? If nothing I do influences it, what's the friggin' point?

BUT THATS NOT THE CASE!  And I know that.  Even there is something messing up my ability to lose weight, it doesn't mean I should stop trying. It doesn't mean I should feel defeated.  I need to keep on keeping on.

Of course a small part of me wants them to tell me they found something horribly wrong, give me a pill, and I miraculously drop 100lbs. ;-)  Wouldn't that be nice!?
But, considering my body's penchant for medical mysteries, I am going to hazard a guess that they find nothing at all. And especially not anything that can be cured with something other than a shit-ton of hard work and sweat.

And so here I am. Not giving up.
Not continuing with this little WAH WAH ITS SO HARD tantrum.

Honestly, I don't mind giving myself little breaks every  now and then. I work damn hard, and I get a little burnt out. I'm ok with that. As long as I can snap myself out of it before any damage is done (like now) then I am OK with it.


I brought Adam Mr. Scale. So Mr. Scale is no longer in my bathroom or within my naked reach (and everyone knows you can't weigh in with clothes on!)

I hope the Fall Into Fitness lady don't kill me, 'cause I won't be weighing in for awhile. I just need to put my head back down and workworkwork for a bit, and then weigh in later. It's not going to change, and I don't know why I keep expecting it to. So there is no need for the everyday ups&downs.

Anyways, that's where I am at!

So, I'm at Mom's house right now (everybody say Hi Mom!)
Good news is, the dentist says I have nothing wrong with my teeth (whew)
So they assume its my TMJ worsening. The jaw problem is causing spasms and migraines. Lovely! They took impressions for some new fancy nightguard technology, and I will get that in two weeks.

I stopped by Mom's house to steal some of her Percocet. Moms are awesome pushers! ;-)

I truly hope they help me sleep tonight!

Timing sucks though, Joel's friend is coming to stay with us for the weekend, and I have a lot of cleaning, etc, to do.. and I can barely function. I am debating about going to training tonight. :-/ We shall see.